Inadvertent (probably) Advertising Humor

The term for a person who wanders from store-front to store-front—admiring displays and available items but not intending to buy them—is "window-shopper".  I don't know that there's a similar word for someone who similarly browses store websites with likewise no buyer's agenda—but I think a similar term should be coined.  "Screen-shopper"? "Browser-shopper"?

I like to shop.  Whether it be online, or in stores.  Whether it be for a specific item, or just to look and see what's out there.  And I get emails with daily or weekly deals from a number of retailers who routinely have items that I think about purchasing, and occasionally actually DO purchase.  I enjoy knowing what deals are available, and I find inbox advertising entertaining.  My inbox today was more entertaining than usual. 

Behold! The portion of an email advertisement that caused me to nearly choke on my coffee, and then giggle madly:

Learn a new DIY skill, they say.  Okay, let's take a look at what they recommend.

Do It Yourself: The Art of Yoga

Sure, I can see how a video and book might help you to learn stretches, poses, and how to achieve the proper state of mind for yoga.  

Do It Yourself: Total Reflexology  

Ah, a handy instruction guide and some illustrated points to focus on, and what appears to be a wooden massage tool of some kind (oh, get your mind out of the gutter!).  Legit DIY, right? 

Do It Yourself:  Ancient Egpytian Book of the Dead

Ummm.  What?  I'm sorry, what I meant to say was "WHAT?!"  DIY mummification?  Well. . . okay, maybe it's a fancifully-named kit with instructions on how to make craft-style sacred scarabs, or funeral masks, or build a mini-pyramid out of sugar cubes.  To which my husband had this to say: "Nah, everybody knows that book is used for raising the mummy".

Off I browse to the website.  As it turns out, the only thing that makes this a kit is that the box contains a brightly-colored replica of a sacred scarab.  The book itself really is a simplistic, colored-illustration, translation of/study about the Book of the Dead.  (Josh—never without a clever observation, even though he often keeps them to himself—notes: "That way you can't actually read the original incantation and accidentally raise The Mummy".)

So for Halloween, don't forget to drop by the local store, or surf the net, to be sure and pick up your very own kit which will teach you how to either create, raise, or very carefully not raise a mummy (I'm still not clear on which).  I'm assuming the gaudy-looking scarab will in some way be essential to this.  Maybe to weigh the book open to the correct page . . .